zilankhulo zachikondi

Ziyankhulo Zisanu Zachikondi - chida chothandizirana

yambani888 Nkhani zaposachedwa

“Chikondi? Chinsinsi. ” Koma njira imodzi yothandizira kutsimikizira izi ndikumvetsetsa zilankhulo zisanu zachikondi. Gwiritsani ntchito chida chothandizachi kuti musinthe moyo wanu wachikondi. A Suzi Brown, omwe ndi alangizi a Reward Foundation, afotokoza pansipa momwe tingawagwiritsire ntchito kutipindulitsa.

Chilankhulo cha Chikondi ndi Chiyani? 

Chilankhulo chachikondi ndi lingaliro lomwe linapangidwa ndi Dr Gary Chapman. Kudzera muzochitikira zake monga mlangizi wa mabanja, adayamba kuphunzira zomwe zimachitika maubwenzi. Makamaka, adafunsa komwe m'modzi kapena onse awiri akumva ngati wokondedwa wawo sawakonda. Adazindikira kuti timakula ndikuphunzira momwe tingawonetsere chikondi m'njira zosiyanasiyana, kapena 'zilankhulo' zosiyanasiyana. Akuti pokhapokha ngati timamvetsetsa 'chilankhulo' cha wina ndi mnzake, sitingathe kuthandiza omwe timakonda kuti azimukondadi. Kafukufuku wa Chapman adamupangitsa kuti awone kuti pali njira zisanu (kapena zilankhulo) zomwe anthu amadzimvera kuti amakondedwa.  

Chapman amagwiritsa ntchito fanizo la thanki lachikondi. Tanki yathu yachikondi ikadzaza ndi machitidwe achikondi ndi mawu timamva kuti timakondedwa, oyamikiridwa komanso apadera. Kuti tikhale ndi thanki lathunthu lachikondi, tiyenera kumvetsetsa zomwe timachita kapena mawu omwe amatithandiza kuti timve okondedwa. 

Kuphunzira Chilankhulo Chanu Chachikondi 

Tikamakula timaphunzira za chikondi ndi ubale makamaka kuchokera kwa makolo athu kapena omwe amatisamalira. Timawona zochita ndi mawu omwe akuwonetsa chikondi kuchokera kwa munthu wina kupita kwa mnzake. Komanso timaphunzira kulandira chikondi kuchokera kwa makolo kapena abale. Ndi maubwenzi oyambira omwe 'amatiphunzitsa' momwe tingawonetsere ndi kulandira chikondi.  

Tsoka ilo, monga anthu olakwitsa komanso kudziwa kwathu chikondi kuchokera kwa kholo limodzi kapena onse awiri mwina sikungakhale kolimbikitsa. Komabe, kumvetsetsa ndikugwiritsa ntchito zilankhulo zachikondi ndizotheka kwa aliyense. Ndizotheka kusintha ubale wanu, ndikupangitsa kusinthana kwabwino kwa chikondi ndi mnzanu kapena banja pano komanso mtsogolo. 

Popanda kuziganizira, timayesetsa kusangalatsa ndi kukonda ena odziwika pamoyo wathu. Nthawi zambiri timachita izi potengera zomwe tawona m'mbuyomu kapena timapereka chikondi momwe timafunira kuti tilandire. Mavuto amatha kuchitika tikamapereka chikondi munjira yomwe wina sangalandire. Izi ndichifukwa choti ali ndi njira ina yosonyezera ndi kulandira chikondi.  

Kumvetsetsa chilankhulo chanu chachikondi ndikofunikira. Zindikirani ndikulankhulana ndi mnzanu za anu komanso chilankhulo chawo chachikondi. Iyi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yothandizira kukhazikitsa ubale wachikondi komanso wachimwemwe. 

Nchiyani chimadzaza thanki lanu lachikondi? 

Chikondi ndichosowa ndi chikhumbo chapadziko lonse lapansi. Tikuyembekezera chikondi m'mabanja mwathu. Ndi zachilendo kufunafuna chikondi kuchokera kwa ena kuti mutsimikizire kufunikira kwathu ndi kufunika kwathu padziko lapansi. Tsoka ilo, anthu nthawi zambiri amamva kuti sakondedwa komanso osayamikiridwa. Njira imodzi yomwe mungatsegulire chitseko cha thanki lanu lachikondi ndi kudzera mu Ziyankhulo Zisanu Zachikondi.

Ziyankhulo zisanu zachikondi ndi izi: 

1. Mawu otsimikiza 

Izi zikuphatikiza kulandira mayamiko, kuyamikiridwa. Zimaphatikizapo kulankhulana bwino za munthu, izi zitha kunenedwa mokweza kapena kulemba. Chitsimikiziro chikhoza kukhala kudzera muzinthu zazing'ono monga kunena momwe amawonekera bwino muzovala zina. Atha kuwalimbikitsa kuti azindikire ndikukulitsa maluso awo ndi maluso awo. 

2. Nthawi Yabwino 

Izi zikutanthauza kupereka chidwi kwa mnzanu. Zimaphatikizapo kuchepetsa zododometsa monga mafoni ndi zida zochepa mukamacheza limodzi. Nthawi zambiri chilakolako cha chilankhulo chachikondichi chimafotokozedwa m'mawu ngati: 'Sitipanganso zinthu limodzi.' 'Tikakhala pachibwenzi tinkakonda kupita nthawi zonse kapena kucheza kwa maola ambiri.' 

3. Kulandira Mphatso 

Izi sizokhudza ndalama! Nthawi zambiri mphatso zomwe zimafunikira zimakhala zophiphiritsa - kufunikira kwake ndi lingaliro lalingaliro la mphatsoyo. Zimaphatikizapo kuchita zinthu moganizira ena; uthenga wachikondi womwe adawasiyira kuti adziwe, mphatso yomwe imakuwonetsani kuti mumvetsetsa zomwe zimawapangitsa kumwetulira, kupezeka kwanu munthawi yamavuto. Izi ndi njira zonse zomwe zimamuwonetsera munthuyu kuti ndizofunikira kwa inu mukakhala limodzi komanso mukasiyana. 

4. Ntchito Zogwira Ntchito 

Izi zimawonekera kwambiri pochita ntchito zapakhomo. Zimaphatikizapo kuwonetsa munthuyo kuti ndinu wofunitsitsa kumuthandiza. Izi zitha kugwira ntchito limodzi kapena kutsuka popanda kufunsidwa. 

5. Kukhudza Thupi 

Titha kugwiritsa ntchito kukhudza kulumikizana ndi mitundu yonse ya mauthenga olimbikitsa - moni wochezeka, chilimbikitso, zabwino, chifundo ndi chidwi. Kukhudza kukachotsedwa mwa munthu kumatha kumva ngati kukanidwa kopweteka. Mitundu ina yokhudza kukhudza ndi yosavuta kumva; kugonana ndi kugonana, msana kapena phazi lopaka - zonsezi zimafuna nthawi ndi chidwi chanu. Mitundu ina ndiyopanda tanthauzo; kupweteka kwa khosi mnzanu akatsuka, akukwera pa sofa, kukhudza pang'ono mkono wawo mutuluka mchipinda. Kuyankha kukhudza nthawi zambiri kumakhudzana ndi zokumana nazo pabanja. Titha kukhala kuti takumanapo ndi kukhudzidwa m'banja lachiwonetsero kapena ayi.

Ndikofunikira, monga zilankhulo zonse zachikondi, lankhulani ndi mnzanu zomwe zimawapangitsa kumva kuti amakondedwa zikafika 'pachilankhulo' chawo. 

Mafunso: Kugwiritsa Ntchito Zinenero Zachikondi kuubwenzi wanu 

Chapman wapeza kuti munthu aliyense amakhala ndi chilankhulo choyambirira. Atha kukhala amodzi omwe amawonetsa chikondi kwa iwo ndikuwathandiza thanki yawo yachikondi kudzazidwa. Poyambira pomwe mungapeze chilankhulo chanu chachikondi ndi kuganizira izi: 'Ndidamva liti kuti ndimakondedwa kwambiri? Palinso mafunso oti mupeze chilankhulo chanu chachikondi apa:  https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/ 

Izi zimakupatsani poyambira zokambirana ndi mnzanu. Mungawafunse kuti ndi liti pamene anamva kuti amakondedwa kwambiri.  

Ngakhale pali zilankhulo zisanu, tiyenera kukumbukira kuti tonse ndife osiyana. Ngakhale chilankhulo chimafotokoza za chikondi kwa munthu, padzakhala njira zenizeni zakusonyezera chikondi kwa iwo mchinenerocho. 

Kugwiritsa ntchito zilankhulo zachikondi ndi ana anu 

Chinsinsi chake ndikuwonetsetsa, makamaka ngati ana anu ali achichepere. Ngakhale kuyambira ali mwana mwana amayamba kukonda chilankhulo chimodzi kapena ziwiri. Izi zidzawonekera pa njira yomwe amakuwonetsani chikondi.  

Ngati akufuna kukuwonetsani zaluso zawo zaposachedwa kapena kukuwuzani zonse za tsiku lawo losangalatsa, ndiye kuti chilankhulo chawo choyambirira chachikondi ndi nthawi. Nthawi zonse akakhala othokoza kwambiri ndikuyamikira zomwe mumawachitira, chilankhulo chawo choyambirira chimakhala ntchito zothandiza. Mukawagula mphatso ndikuziwonetsa kwa ena kapena kuzisamalira mwapadera, izi zikusonyeza kuti mphatso ndiye chilankhulo chawo chachikulu chachikondi. Kukhudza ndikofunikira kwa iwo ngati, atakuwonani amathamangira kukukumbatirani ndi kukupsopsonani, kapena atapeza njira zosakhudzika zakukukhudzani. Izi zitha kuphatikizira kukinyinyirika, kukhomerera pang'ono, kukugwedezani mukamalowa pakhomo. Ngati amalankhula molimbikitsa, kupereka mayamiko ndi matamando, mawu otsimikiza ayenera kukhala chilankhulo chawo chachikondi. 

Ana

Nthawi zambiri makolo amayamba kulankhulana ndi ana awo akadali makanda akadali makanda - akugwira, kukumbatirana ndi kupsompsona, kuwauza momwe alili okongola, okongola, olimba komanso anzeru amadza mwachilengedwe momwe kholo limakondera mwana wawo komanso zomwe akwanitsa kuchita akamakula. Popanda ntchito; kudyetsa, kuyeretsa etc. mwana amwalira. Zimakhalanso zachizoloŵezi kusamba ana ndi ana aang'ono ndi mphatso, ndikupanga nthawi yosewera kapena mapulojekiti komwe ali pakati. Kudzakhala kofunika kupitiriza kuwonetsa chikondi kwa mwana wanu munjira zonsezi, koma chiziwunikira chikondi kwambiri kwa iwo mukazindikira ndi kutsatira chilankhulo chawo choyambirira chachikondi. 

Ngati mwana wanu wakula mokwanira, mungafune kuwalimbikitsa kuti atenge mafunso a chilankhulo chachikondi, pogwiritsa ntchito ulalo womwe uli pamwambapa. Ichi chitha kukhala chida chothandiza kuyambitsa zokambirana za momwe akumvera kuti amakondedwa ndikukuthandizani kupeza njira zofotokozera izi kwa iwo. 

Suzi Brown 

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